Bonjour, Yami!
by Gentle Smile
Summary: Some of the YGO posse are in France. Drag-Racing, Alternative Medicine, the Macarena and more ensue. Read it! It's funny, dammit.
1. Default Chapter

Hello. That's really all I have to say. Except please be nice. Or I'll......do.....something......meh.  
  
Disclaimer: Trinity owns shit all. That includes Yu-Gi-Oh, Shiny Pop Cans and Old Newspapers.  
  
I have called Jounouchi Joey because it's easier to type and I don't have to play 'Hunt the Key.'  
  
Thanking you please for your co-operation. Also thanking you please Steve, my sound man who does not exist.  
  
****************************  
  
Getting to the Airport. *cue horror music* *horror music plays* *thank you Steve*  
  
Yugi, Ryou, Malik and Joey for some reason (comical value) are heading to the airport, where they will depart for France, the country of, in Joey's own words, 'Food, Large Towers, and Cute Little Souvenier Shops Owned By Little Old Women.' Un/Fortunately, their Yami's are coming along for the ride. Yugi, Ryou, Malik and Joey were all sitting quite comfortably in the mini- bus, until three certain psychotic beings decided they too wanted to sit in the mini-bus. All Hell broke loose.  
  
Ryou: *in pain* Yami Bakura, you're crushing me! Please, remove your posterior from my knees!  
  
Yami B: *smirks* Aah, shut up you little poofter. I'm quite comfy here.  
  
Malik: Yami Malik, move, go back to the soulroom, there's no space!  
  
Yami M: Heck, if you wanted space you should have joined NASA.  
  
Yugi: Hey! Yami! Can you get 'em to move!  
  
Yami: *raises eyebrow* Well, what do you think?  
  
Ryou: Lungs.....failing.....  
  
Joey: *eating hotdog* Ryou? You OK? Hmm...needs more relish....  
  
Ryou: Please....help.....  
  
Joey: Where can I get some relish.....what? you say something? No? Good.  
  
Yugi: Yami Bakura! Move! Quick! Ryou's dying!  
  
Yami B:*talking to Yami M* I was playing Poker with Tarot Cards last night. I got a full house, and four people died. What? Ryou? Oh, crap.  
  
Yami: Stand back! For I have been trained in lifesaving techniques!  
  
*Starts to give Ryou Kiss of Life*  
  
Yami B: Eww! Nasty! I'm gonna make that little bugger clean his mouth out!  
  
Malik: That's gonna replace the fairy in my nightmares.  
  
Joey: o_O Whoa! Take it outside! You nearly put me right off my hotdog!  
  
Yami M: Interesting......  
  
Everybody stares.  
  
Yami M: What? It is!  
  
Everybody continues staring.  
  
Yami M: Ryou's gone blue.  
  
Yami: By the many worshippers of Ra! Fear not, Ryou, friend of Yugi, I will save you!  
  
*continues with Kiss of Life*  
  
Yami B: Stop it! That's disgusting! *squirms*  
  
Joey: Haha! Yami Bakura squirmed like a girl!  
  
Yami B: Haha! Joey screamed like a girl! *prods Joey with nearby pointy stick*  
  
Joey: AAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Yami B: Damn that feels good.  
  
Yami M: Let me try!  
  
Yami B: Go nuts.  
  
Yami M: Don't mind if I do! *prods Joey*  
  
Joey: AAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Malik: Hey! That's blood!  
  
Yami B: Well spotted.  
  
Malik: Lots of it!  
  
Yami B: Aren't you the little observer?  
  
Malik: Yami Malik, STOP!  
  
Yugi: JOEY! JOEY! WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU, BUDDY?  
  
Joey: *groans*  
  
Yami B: Is it humanely possible to lose that much blood and still be conscious?  
  
Yami M: Doesn't look like it.  
  
*Joey faints*  
  
Yami: Two casualties! Another chance to display my alternative resuscitation skills!  
  
Yami M&B: NO! DON'T! IT'S GROSS AND WEIRD!  
  
Yami: *pouts* It's not! It's not, is it, Yugi?  
  
Yugi: *sweatdrop animé style*  
  
NEWSFLASH: Buy new Portable Animé Style Sweatdrops. They're small, sweet, easy to apply, and work well in most comical or degrading situations. Also, try our Animé Clumsy Surprised Everybody-Falls-On-The-Floor-Wearing-Silly- Expression Training kit! The ideal compliment to your Animé Style Sweatdrop. Available from all non-existant retailers.  
  
Malik: Hey look! Fields!  
  
Yugi: You, err.... Never seen a field?  
  
Mailk: *snorts* Of course I have. It's just Trinity is trying to think what to write so I thought I'd try and make conversation.  
  
Yugi: Riiighht. Hey! Ryou's alive!  
  
Malik: Who? Oh, him, yeah. You're alive!  
  
Ryou: *clutching chest* Yeah, I am. I had this weird vision, everything was dark, and I saw a light, then realised it was the headlamp of an oncoming train.  
  
Yugi: Fate really isn't very kind to you, is it?  
  
Ryou: No. No it's not. Huh? What happened to Joey?  
  
Yugi: *points at Yami Bakura and Yami Malik* Them That's what happened to...HOLY SHIT!  
  
*Yami B and Yami M are in a heated conversation. Around them are many empty booze bottles.*  
  
Yami B: So *hic* I looked him strai-straight in the'eye, and said *hic* If we're nit su-su-su-supoosed to *hic* eat animals, then, *hic* how come they're made *hic* of meat?  
  
Yami M: Hahaha*hic*hahaha.Then wot 'appened, mate?  
  
Yami B: I *hic* dunno *hic* I can't remember. *giggles*  
  
Malik: When did that happen?  
  
Ryou: They're fast!  
  
Yugi: They'll get alcohol poisoning.  
  
*cue dramatic music for Yami speech* *thank you Steve.*  
  
Yami: I sure hope they do, for then I can demonstrate my Hangover Healing techniques, taught to me by the finest Witch Doctors around! No illness can escape my deft hands, my strategic mind, my-  
  
Malik: Rabid Mouth?  
  
Yami: *death glare* YOU SHALL PAY FOR THAT REMARK, MORTAL! FOR I KNOW TRANQUILLIZING TECHNIQUES TOO, AND WHO KNOWS WHAT I CAN DO WHEN YOU'RE ASLEEP!  
  
Malik: That does not bear thinking about. Help me, Yugi!  
  
Yami: YUGI CANNOT SAVE YOU NOW! PREPARE TO ENTER DRUG INDUCED HAPPYLAND!  
  
Yugi: Hey! We're at the airport!  
  
Yami: Oh, good! ^_^  
  
**************************************  
  
So what do y'all sat at your computers think? Good, bad? Bear in mind, it's my first fanfic. And get ready for chapter two, At The Airport. What happens when Malik's exstensive jewellery collection sets off the metal detector? Will security find Yami's tranquillizing drugs? Are the Yami's sober? What the heck happened to Joey? Tune in for the next exciting chapter. REVIEW PLEASE!  
  
'What if the Hokey Pokey really is what it's all about?' 


	2. Drag Racing and Other Stuff

Woohoo! Some people actually reviewed! I'd blow the Review Victory Horn if I had one.  
  
To Sydney: Yami Bakura stays Yami Bakura because I'm easily confused and have the memory of a non-domestic goldfish. Sorry.  
  
To chaosnziggy. Thanking you please.  
  
Okelydokely, chapter 2. *cue impressive fanfare* *Steve? Where are you Steve?*  
  
Oh, and the disclaimer. This bit is really hard to make funny.  
  
Disclaimer: Trinity has absolutely shit all to her name, she owns very little because she blows all her saved up money on computer games. (Has anybody got the Eye Toy? It's wicked!) She does not own Yu-Gi-Oh. Nor does she own Gran Turismo, however good the game may be. She does not own certain Harry Potter terms. She does not own Texas Chainsaw Massacre. She does not own Freakazoid.  
  
Oh, Steve, there you are.  
  
******************************************************  
  
/At The Airport/ *cue horror music* *horror music plays* *thank you, Steve.*  
  
Yugi, Yami, Joey, Malik, Yami Malik, Ryou and Yami Bakura/Bakura got into the airport. (To all you people who like pointing out all the mistakes in films, the Yami's are sober and Joey is OK because a wizard did it.)  
  
Ryou: *blinks* Look! The Yami's are sober.  
  
Everyone: WIzard.  
  
Ryou: OK. I get it now.  
  
Yami Bakura was pushing a suitcase trolley. This turned out to be a mistake.  
  
Yami B: Hey! Watch it! Well, if you don't like my driving, stay off the floor! Move it, lady. Yes, As A Matter Of Fact I Do Own The Whole Damn Corridor. God, why are mortal's legs so breakable? Stop moaning, you'll be alright in a few weeks. Shift!  
  
(Few minutes later)  
  
Yugi: Yami Bakura! Look! We've got about fifty lawyers on our backs! This isn't Gran Turismo! And what about poor Mrs. Hoover?  
  
Yami B: I maintain she kicked herself in the shin.  
  
Yugi: *rolls eyes* Whatever.  
  
Yami: A broken limb? Where? Lead me to the wounded one! I will cure her of her misfortune with my Stick Of Alternative Bone Fixing Stick!  
  
Yugi: *animé sweatdrop* *see earlier chapter* I don't think that's necessary.  
  
Malik: You know what? I think we should hurry up and leave the country.  
  
Joey: Just a sec, Malik! We gotta check out the Food Court, and the Café, and other food-related propoganda affiliated with airports!  
  
Yami Malik: Amen!  
  
Joey: The good people who slave over running this business pay less good people to cook food, brew drinks, and cater to our needs. Shouldn't we show our appreciation?  
  
Yami Malik: Testify!  
  
Joey: So hear me now, fellow travellers, let us pilgrim to the nearest food store, and spend like we were in Las Vegas.  
  
Yami Malik: Hear Hear!  
  
Everyone:.........  
  
Joey: Who's with me?  
  
Everyone: Yeah, sure.  
  
Ryou: We have to check in first.  
  
Yugi: Oh yeah. *slaps his head* Duh.  
  
Yami B: *slaps Yugi's head*  
  
Yugi: What was that for?  
  
Malik: *slaps head* No reason, Duh.  
  
Joey: *slaps head* Ouch.  
  
The checking in was uneventful. Well, Yami M&B decided it would be fun to ride on the conveyor belt, and nearly made it to the plane, but they were stopped by security and given a severe moralistic lecture on Social Decorum.  
  
Joey: Food court here we come!  
  
Joey: We're nearly at the food court!  
  
Joey: We're nearer to the food court than the last sentence!  
  
Joey: We're almost there!  
  
Yugi: Joey, it's over here, you've passed it.  
  
Joey: Duh. *slaps head* Ouch.  
  
Ryou: Joey, Joey, Simplistic Joey. Will you ever learn?  
  
Joey: Nope.  
  
Yami: This is suspicious. I smell a rat.  
  
Yugi: Lighten up! I don't think anyone here wants to kill you!  
  
Yami: No, I mean it, there's a rat over there.  
  
Joey: RAT! RAT! RAT! RAT! AAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHH!  
  
Malik: You're afraid of rats?  
  
Joey: Nope.  
  
Yami: Aah, Stress Related Attention Seeking Disorder. No problem, Joey! Use this.  
  
ANTI- STRESS KIT  
BANG  
HEAD  
HERE  
  
1) Place kit on hard surface, i.e concrete.  
  
2) Bang head vigorously until loss of consciousness is experienced.  
  
Side Effects:-  
  
User may notice slight decrease in mental capacity.  
  
User may display symptons of amnesia.  
  
I assure you the blindness is temporary.  
  
Joey: o_o What would Scooby Do?  
  
Ryou: Isn't it a little....quiet?  
  
Malik: @_@  
  
Yugi: OH GOD NO!  
  
Yami Malik and Yami Bakura are stood infront of a long line of suitcase trolleys.  
  
Yami B: Welcome to the Annual Airport Drag Race! You are it's first victims!  
  
*Cheering, applause*  
  
Yami M: The rules are, anything goes! Feel free to beat the nearest competitor to a pulp! Biting is approved! Blood loss is not uncommon!  
  
*cheering*  
  
Yugi: We have to stop them!  
  
Ryou: *hanging onto Yugi's arm* No! Never underestimate stupid people in large groups!  
  
Yami B: And 3.......2.........1..........Leg it!  
  
Yugi, Yami, Malik, Ryou: AAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Joey: *shakes head* A catastrophic riot can ruin your whole day.  
  
A few minutes later, the airport is reminiscent of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Trolleys are everywhere, people in pain are everywhere, suitcases are everywhere. Yami M&B are standing triumphant at the finish line.  
  
Yami M: Oh yeah! We rule!  
  
Malik: Yami Malik! What have you done?  
  
Yami M: *snorts* You're such a muggle.  
  
Ryou: I advise we run, very fast and very far.  
  
Yami: Yes! We must flee quickly! Let us fly! *runs off making whooshing noise.*  
  
Yami B: I'm with Freakazoid.  
  
Yugi: Thank God it's near boarding time anyway.  
  
They arrive at the High Security Checking Process Thing. Malik and Yami Malik walk through the metal detector.  
  
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!  
  
Security Guard: Stop right there! Take off any jewellery you might have and prepare for a body search!  
  
Malik: It's impossible to take this choker off. It doesn't have a catch thing.  
  
Security Guard: Then wait for a body search.  
  
(After Body Search)  
  
Yami M: *grumbling* Some people are only alive because it's illegal to kill.  
  
Yami dumped his bag on the X-Ray checking thing.  
  
Security Guard: HALT!  
  
Yami: *narrows eyes* Yes?  
  
Security Guard: Can you explain this, sir?  
  
(Upends bag. Syringes and bags with white substances in fall to floor.)  
  
Yami: The syringes are to inject medicine, I am qualified in Alternative Techniques.  
  
Security Guard: *holds up bag with white substance* And this?  
  
Yami: That's Coffeemate.  
  
Security Guard: OK, son, you're free to go.  
  
Yami: Thank you, Malik.  
  
Malik: *holds up Rod* No prob.  
  
Yami Bakura: Hey! Look what I bought earlier!  
  
Security Guard glances over.  
  
Security Guard: YOU! THE WHITE HAIRED BOY! GIVE ME THOSE!  
  
Eventually Yami Bakura was released, and told not to flaunt GI Joe accesories again.  
  
Joey: This place is dead anyway. Let's board the plane!  
  
A stressed out Yugi, a perplexed Yami Bakura, a grumbling Yami Malik, a doubtful Bakura, a noble Yami and a normal Malik agree.  
  
********************************************  
  
Ooh! I've done another chapter! Good for me! So, once again, what does everybody think? Heck, I enjoy it, even if nobody else does.  
  
If you want a role in the next scenario, on the aeroplane, review this story and give me some details personality-wise, looks-wise if you dare. That's right! You can be a passenger on this plane and be in the story! Claim to Fame alert!  
  
Next chapter coming up soon.  
  
'If you can read this, thank a teacher.' 


	3. Sensitive Pilots and a Fan

Woohoo! Reviews rock! So I have delved into the dank, dark, uncrossed depths of my mind and found the motivation to continue!  
  
Err....Pharoah's Queen....Anti-Stress Kit. Use it. And you rock, thank you please. Dawn. ^_^ Yugi-is-little-bro: Watch this space! jetnziggy: What the hell have you taken? You're crazy! ^_^ Echulek: YOU e-mail ME. Ie Mizishi: Thanks! Your words mean alot to me, buddy. Marikzgal4eva: Happy?  
  
OK, here we go. Chapter 3. On the plane. Ooooh, I hear you say. Well, I heard you, even if you didn't say it.  
  
Nearly forgot. DISCLAIMER: AS TRINITY HAS SUBTLEY MENTIONED TWICE BEFORE SHE OWNS SHIT ALL BECAUSE SHE SPENDS ALL HER MONEY ON PS2 GAMES. XBOX USERS DON'T FLAME ME I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST IT. OR GAMECUBE. OR, GOD FORBID, SEGA. SHE DOES NOT OWN YU-GI-OH.  
  
*******************************  
  
/On the Plane/ *Steve is not here* *he wants to be paid for his work*  
  
The various characters from the earlier chapters have just stepped through the door to the plane. The stewardess shows them where to sit because that's her job.  
  
Yami B: I get tabs on the window seat!  
  
Yami M: No way! I wanna sit there!  
  
Yami B: I'm sitting there, quitsies!  
  
Yami M: Startsies! I'm sitting there startsies overule quitsies.  
  
Yami B: Bitch.  
  
Yami M: You da bitch!  
  
Malik: Yami Malik! I've warned you before about speaking like you're from the ghetto.  
  
Yami M: Soz, bro.  
  
Ryou ends up sitting in the window seat. Err.....that's it.  
  
A voice comes over the telecom.  
  
'Welcome to...This Aeroplane. We hope your journey will be pleasant.'  
  
Joey: *falls to floor clutching head* NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!  
  
Yugi: Joey! Get up, quick!  
  
Yami: Aha! A disturbed soul in dire need of my skills! *'flies' over to Joey making whooshing noise.* Fear not, Joey, friend of Yugi and chihuahua of Kaiba! I will save you using telekinesis!  
  
Yami B: Yeah, right. Anybody here who believes in telekinesis, raise my hand.  
  
Yami: Do not mock what you do not understand, Bakura! Witness my power!  
  
Joey: No thank you! I'm fine!  
  
Yami: This, this wonderful object, is my Syringe of Telekinetic Enlightenment!  
  
Joey: SHIT!  
  
Joey bounds to his feet and Runs For His Life. Yami 'whooshes' after him.  
  
Joey: CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP!  
  
Mystery Passenger: Do not despair, Joey-chan, I will save your precious butt!  
  
Mystery Passenger thrusts her leg out and trips Yami. Mystery Passenger has hazel eyes and brown hair. Mystery Passenger seems to have a worrying obsession with red. Mystery Passenger is a .......RABID FAN GIRL! *da da daaaahhhhh!* *God, I'm reduced to producing my own sound efects.* *come back Steve* *for less typing time-comsumption/ a lazy arse like me, Rabid Fan Girl is now RFG.*  
  
RFG: *turns to Joey* Say hello to your future  
  
Joey: Hello.  
  
Pilot on Telecom: *yes I know they aren't called that.* Please fasten your seatbelts. We will be taking off shortly.  
  
Yami M: Pilot's voices really wind me up. They're all y'know, Look At Me I'm Driving a Plane. Y'get it?  
  
Yami B: *nods* I hear you. Who died and made him Darth Vader?  
  
Pilot: Two boys in row Q I heard that.  
  
Yami M&B: Good.  
  
Pilot: Clear for take off. And due to budget cuts, two passengers will have to do without meals for this flight. Heh heh heh... that'll show 'em....  
  
Yami B: Well, I don't care, I'm sure Ryou will, ahem, kindly donate some grub.  
  
Yami M: Tucker.  
  
Yami B: Vittles.  
  
Yami M: Nosh.  
  
Yami B: Belly Fuel.  
  
Ryou: .........  
  
Yami B: Hey, what's up, humperdink?  
  
Yami M: Humperdink?  
  
Yami B: I dunno.  
  
Yami M: Hee hee. Humperdink.  
  
Yami B: Lubadub.  
  
Yami M: Lubadub?  
  
Yami B: I dunno.  
  
Yami M: Hee hee. Lubadub.  
  
Yugi: Ryou? That's a rather attractive shade of beige you've gone there.  
  
Malik: Don't ask. Retreat into your own little world......*starts humming*  
  
Ryou: I....h-hate.....flying.  
  
Yami B: *smirks* Hey! Y'know what'd really be cool right about now? A crash. A really big one with fire and gas explosions and screaming and various famous corpses.  
  
Ryou: o_o  
  
Yami M: Or if the plane loses control at a really high altitude and shrivels into flaming debris.  
  
Ryou: 0_0  
  
Yugi: Aww........Leave him alone.  
  
Yami M: You gonna make us?  
  
Yami B: Bring it on, you bite-size human.  
  
Yugi: Alright, you win.  
  
Joey: AAAAAAAGGHHHHH!!!!!  
  
Yugi: Joey! What is it boy? Speak!  
  
Joey: Iwenttogpidontknowwhatimsayingineedhelpgetheraway!  
  
Yugi: Joey! Think before you say each word!  
  
Joey: There's a girl on the plane and she's crazy! She knows everything about me! And I don't know her!  
  
Yami B: Cool. Can you point her out?  
  
Joey: Yes! The psycho in red!  
  
Yami M: Can you be more specific?  
  
Joey: The one with the sign!  
  
RFG is holding a sign which says 'If You Can Read This You're In Range. XXX'  
  
Joey: You've gotta help me dudes! And err....yeah yeah dude. Ryou? What's up?  
  
Ryou: *exaggerated pukish expression*  
  
Newsflash: Buy new Exaggerated Emotions Faces. They're easy to apply and dang popular with you extroverts. Or you misunderstood souls who really need to get their feeling across.  
  
Yugi: He's feeling none too good. Oops.  
  
Yami: Yes! I still feature in this chapter! Here I am Ryou! Fear not!  
  
Yami B: I'm really quite sick of you.  
  
Yami: You're sick?  
  
Yami B: Yep.  
  
Yami: Of me?  
  
Yami B: Damn straight.  
  
Yami: B-but....why?  
  
Yami B: Well, the fact that you have an IQ levelling that of a raisin, your unhealthy obsession with Alternative Healing, your plan to dominate the world using your custom super-strength hairgel.....  
  
Yami: Where did you find that?  
  
Yami B: Oh, in a padlocked box at the back of a long corridor concealed behind your linen closet which incedentally was locked in many places and filled with motion sensors. You really should be more careful where you put these things.  
  
Yami: Bitch.  
  
Yami M: You da bitch!  
  
Malik: Yami Malik!  
  
Yami M: Soz, humperdink.  
  
Malik: What?  
  
RFG: Hey! Joey! Wanna share my chocolate pudding?  
  
Joey: Yeah!  
  
Yugi: Well, at least Joey's fine. Ryou?  
  
Ryou: Digestive,,,,system......failing.....  
  
Yugi: You want another sick bag?  
  
Ryou: Used.....twelve already......  
  
Yami B: When did the plane take off? How come we're nearly at France?  
  
Everybody: Wizard.  
  
Yami B: Ah.  
  
Joey: Hey....you don't have a chocolate pudding.......  
  
Yami B: Since Ryou can't eat, I volunteer him to donate to a worthy cause. Which is, of course, me.  
  
Yami M: Ha ha! Arrogance! Boo Yah! *gives Yami B high five* I mean, I thought I was an atheist until I realised I was God.  
  
Yami: My God can beat up your God.  
  
Yami M: Wanna bet? I'll take it on right here, right now!  
  
Yami B: Hey hey, we've not finished yet! I nearly killed the world's sexiest guy, then realised there was a law against suicide.  
  
Yami M: Touché.  
  
Ryou: Help me......  
  
Joey: HELP ME!  
  
Yugi: Help us escape this madhouse!  
  
Yami: Help me regain my pride!  
  
Malik: Help is urgently required!  
  
Yami M: Help me think of a self-centred quote!  
  
Yami B: Help these cretins!  
  
Swiss Yodeller on top of Mountain: Help me get my radishes out of my volvo!  
  
German Engineer: Help me find Heinekenn!  
  
Trinity: Help me finish this chapter!  
  
Pilot: We are now entering Paris. Please fasten your seatbelts. Brown haired girl and blonde haired guy do not get to cosy, we are landing soon. Evil white haired boy and evil blpnde friend, as you slide down the banister of life, may your ass collect many splinters. Rot in Hell. Fragile looking white haired boy stop hyperventilating. None of our staff are qualified in resuscitation techniques. Trinity, stop typing, your knuckles are white. Thank you.  
  
*************************  
  
Chapter 3! Whadd'ya think? I personally think this was a little poor, but, as I am constantly reminded, what I think does not matter. RFG - Respect. You know who you are. Thanks again to all you wonderful, wonderful people who spare me your precious time.  
  
Next chapter: Checking into the airport. Du du du du. Anyone else wanna be involved? We're all friends! If you wanna be a customer in the Hotel, please say so, and I will accomodate you.  
  
Bye for now........  
  
'I'm not as dumb as you look.' 


	4. Le Cuisse de Grenouille et le Suitcase

Dang! Four chapter be I on now! Me writing like. Me referring myself person third. No food function me properly not.  
  
Yugi-is-little-bro: Thank you please once again. Ie Mizishi: Thanks. Thanks alot. Thanking you dearly. ^_^  
  
DISCLAIMER: TRINITY IS GETTING FED UP OF WRITING THIS CRAP. SHE DOES NOT OWN YU-GI-OH. SHE OWNS SHIT. ALL, THAT IS. THANK YOU. She does not own Sesame Street. She does own a copy of Grand Theft Auto Vice City, but she obviously does not own it because she is perpetually pennyless/nickleless?  
  
Steve has left the building. Enter, Dave, my new sound technician.  
  
Here we go.  
  
************************************* /At the Hotel/ *cue horror music* *horror, Dave, horror* * thank you, Dave*  
  
Yugi, Yami, Ryou, Yami Bakura, Yami Malik, Malik and Joey have arrived at an oddly named Hotel.  
  
Malik: Le Cuisse de Grenouille? Ideas, anyone?  
  
Joey: It's fundamental French. It means 'The Frog's Thigh.'  
  
Malik: Thank you......JOEY? French?  
  
Joey: Oui, Monsieur, Je parle Français!  
  
Everyone: o_O  
  
Yugi: Well, I'm freaked out.  
  
Ryou: This hotel is huge!  
  
Yami M: Yeah! Hope we're on the top floor!  
  
Ryou: o_o Why? Can't we just order a nice, ground floor room?  
  
Yami M: Hell no.  
  
Ryou: Why not?  
  
Yami M: *snorts* To piss you off, of course.  
  
Yami B: Plus, if anyone is being a perticularly annoying lemming, we can use the threat of throwing them out the window! Sesame Street style!  
  
Yami M: Right on! *high five*  
  
Yami: Aha! But we could throw you out of the window, too!  
  
Yami M: Hey, we were just messing. Besides, throw someone out of a 25th floor window, and what'll that cost you? Hey, Yami B, what did that cost us?  
  
Yugi: Will someone, anyone, please help me carry the suitcases? Carrying all this weight on my head could delay my inevitable growth spurt.  
  
Yami B: Woo! The type with wheels! Gimme gimme gimme.  
  
Ryou: NO! DON'T GIVE HIM IT!  
  
Malik: Dangnabbit. He got it.  
  
Yami B: Watch me take a U-Turn!  
  
Joey: DUCK AND COVER PEOPLE!  
  
Everyone dives onto floor.  
  
Yami B: Hey! Yami Malik! Pass me that hockey stick that happens to be lying on the floor near you!'  
  
Yami M: *throws stick to Yami B* Here!  
  
Yami B: Wooha! Watch out, Paris, Bakura is here!  
  
Ryou: Shit.  
  
Everybody: We hear you.  
  
Malik: We're losing him!  
  
Yami: Let us fly! *runs of making 'whooshing' noise* Come, disciples, follow me!  
  
Yugi: He's gone down that hill! On a wheeled suitcase!  
  
Joey: *wipes tear from eye* That's the bravest thing I've ever seen in my life.  
  
Yami Malik: *at top of hill* Anyone ever played Vice City?  
  
Yugi: Yeah. Why?  
  
Yami Malik: 'Cos Bakura's just put the game to shame!  
  
Ryou: Let's get him! Quick! Before he sparks a massacre!  
  
Mr T: I pity da foo', who go afta dat man!  
  
Joey: Mr T! You rock dude!  
  
Everyone else is running down hill.  
  
Yugi: We've left Joey!  
  
Yami: Forgot Joey! He's gone!  
  
Ryou: He can't go far, we'll get him....OOH! Pâtisserie! CREAM PUFFS!  
  
Yugi: We've lost Ryou!  
  
Yami: Do not despair! I can fly at the speed of light!  
  
Malik: Pretty slow solar system.  
  
Yami M: Wait up, dude! I wanna go!  
  
Malik: To hell! You are not doing what he's done.  
  
Yami M: Fine! I'll just sit here.  
  
Yugi: We've left Yami Malik!  
  
Yami: WHOOSH!  
  
Yami: WHOOSH!  
  
Yami: WHOOSH!  
  
Yami: WHOOSH!  
  
Yami: WHOO-OUCH!  
  
Yugi: Yami just ran into a lampost! Malik! Malik?  
  
/Malik is upside down in a barrel outside a friut and veg shop./  
  
Yugi: When did that happen?  
  
Mysterious Voice: Wizard.  
  
Yugi: Ah.  
  
Yami B: Word! This is cool! Wha? YUGI!  
  
Yugi: I'm looking forward to regretting this!  
  
/Back at the Hotel Le Cuisse de Grenouille./  
  
Yugi is heavily bandaged. Yami Bakura is sulking. As is Yami Malik. Malik is covered in orange juice. Ryou is eating his own body weight in cream puffs. Joey is ecstatic, having had his elbow signed by Mr T. Yami is in pain with a severe head injury.  
  
Yugi: Oohhhh. I ache all over.......  
  
Yami B: Y'know what? IT WAS YOUR FAULT! YOU DIVED ON ME YOU LITTLE LEPRECHAUN!  
  
Yami M: Yo, Yami B! That rocked! But I dare you to try it sober.  
  
Yami B: No sweat.  
  
Yami: Brain cells.....diminishing.........IQ at..........Monkey........  
  
Malik: Maybe I should call doctor.  
  
Yami Malik: Nah. he'll be alright.  
  
Yami: Downgraded.....to.......chimpanzee........  
  
Malik: Y'sure?  
  
Yami Malik: Positive.  
  
Yami: Ba.....boon........  
  
Joey: Bonjour! Je voudrais réserver un salle pour sept garçons.  
  
Everyone: o_o  
  
Ryou: That will never cease to amaze me.  
  
Joey: Here we go, guys! We're in room 666.5  
  
Malik: Err....point five?  
  
Joey: It's ethnically incorrect to have a room 666 in these religious times of ours.  
  
Malik: True.  
  
Ryou: Wh-where abouts is that?  
  
Joey: Floor 25!  
  
Ryou: *faints*  
  
Yami B: Wake up, pale boy. God, look at you! You're so skinny and your eyes are too brown and your hair is too white.  
  
Malik: Don't say anything.  
  
Joey: *talking to customer* Aww....look at your baby! What's he called?  
  
Customer: Joey.  
  
Joey: OK. *walks away* HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! JOEY! WHAT A NAME! WHO'D BE DUMB ENOUGH TO CALL A KID JOEY! WHAT A FREAK! HAHAHAHAHAHA.....oh.  
  
Everyone: -_-  
  
Joey: Please excuse me.  
  
Yugi: I'm ok! (wizard). *sighs* Do I have to carry the suitcases again?  
  
Yami B: Of course not! The bell boy will!  
  
Yugi: What bell boy?  
  
Yami B: The one I am about to fetch!  
  
Everyone waits. Eventually Yami Bakura comes back with a bloody nose.  
  
Yami B: Good news, everyone! The hotel is cutting off our room service!  
  
Ryou: (wizard) What happened?  
  
Yami B: The arrogant French git said he was on his coffee break and couldn't carry them!  
  
Ryou: Then?  
  
Yami B: Well, then I exchanged a few bad guy insults, y'know, your momma's so stupid she tried to drown a fish, etc. And he said 'I get insulted every damn day! If you're so tough, you're welcome to have my job.'  
  
Ryou: U-huh, and?  
  
Yami B: I said 'What, you think I can't....work? And we got into a fight! Ryou I have to be in court next Monday.  
  
Ryou: @_@ What?  
  
Yami B: I hope to get away with manslaughter.  
  
Yugi: Oh well. Pass me that little one, Malik.  
  
*starts going up stairs*  
  
Yugi: 664, 665, aha! 666.5. Hey! Who did all you guys get up here?  
  
Joey: One little word, Yugi. Automatic Elevator.  
  
Ryou: I am never going to figure you out.  
  
Yugi: *sigh* Why me? Well, let's go in! *puts key in door* It won't open!  
  
Yami M: Use my philosophy. If it doesn't fit, force it, if it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.  
  
Yugi: Okeydokey.  
  
Malik: *sighs* Was today really necessary?  
  
Trinity: Yes.  
  
*****************************  
  
Ta-Da! The End of chapter four. And the end of Dave. He's crap. Sure as hell ain't no Steve. What does everybody think? Yet again? Thank you please. Next chapter: The hotel and beyond...  
  
'Don't drink to drown your sorrow. Sorrow knows how to swim.' 


	5. Infomercials and Ripped Off Fairy Tales

Hello, and behold, the fifth installment of my creation, my brainchild, 'Bonjour, Yami!' Woohoo! Break out the booze and sing patriotic songs! Oh, Canaadaaaa! (No. I'm not Canadian. I'm English! I don't know my national anthem so I nicked theirs. I think it goes something something something God Save the Queen.' Tk Macintosh: Thanking yoouuuuu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ( I like !'s) Yugi-is-little-bro: I have not destroyed Joey. Merely unlocked a new side to him. And, after all, isn't French the language of love? ^_~ And, I quite like Bob, but for the sake of copyright I'll call him Rob.  
  
Disclaimer. I D-O N-O-T O-W-N YU-GI-OH. A-M I G-O-I-N-G T-O-O F-A- S-T?  
  
Ahem.  
  
Bye Dave! Hello Rob the rat. Who pushes buttons. Buttons that make sounds.  
  
*************************************  
  
/In the hotel/ *cue horror music* * sorry. It appears Rob the Rat has got lost.*  
  
Once Yugi, aided by Yami Malik, forced the door to room 666.5 open, everybody piled in. Except Yami Bakura, who got locked out acidentally-on- purpose.  
  
Yami B: Come out come out!  
  
Yami M: Hee hee! I've read that fairy tale! This room is made of bricks! You can't get in!  
  
Yami B: Come out come out or let me in!  
  
Yami M: Not by the hairs on....................ummm.................  
  
Joey: Mai's legs?  
  
Yami M: Woo ha!  
  
Yami B: Let me in or I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll Shadow Realm your sorry butts!  
  
Ryou: For the sake of our sanity, let him in!  
  
Yami M: *rolls eyes* Fine.  
  
Yami Bakura dives on Yami.  
  
Yami B: That was your idea, wasn't it, mophead!  
  
Yami: *gargleshmargle*  
  
Yugi: Let go!  
  
Yami B: Never!  
  
Yami: *glickglaaaark*  
  
Ryou: Oh my God! Look at his eyes bulge!  
  
Joey: He's gonna die!  
  
Malik: Wanna watch?  
  
Joey. *pause* Yeah, alright.  
  
Yami: *stopgrickooolllbakuragraaaahg*  
  
Yami M: *animé sweatdrop* *see chapter one* Dude! It was my idea.  
  
Yami B: Oh. Good one, dude! *gives Yami M high five*  
  
Yugi: This room is actually quite small.  
  
Yami M: Hmm. Phenomenal cosmic powers, itty bitty dewlling quarters. Ah, beats the soulroom crap.  
  
Joey: Cool. Campbed!  
  
Joey pulls the campbed put from the wall. It has no legs. It merely sticks out of the wall.  
  
Joey: Cool. Springy.  
  
The campbed folds up on itself. Against the wall.  
  
Malik: HAHAHAHAHA! Joey sandwich! Oh, get my camera!  
  
Joey: *muffled* Yugi? Yugi! Help me! I don't like this place! It's squashed and compressed and there's something furry on my foot!  
  
Ryou takes a look.  
  
Ryou: How did your foot wind up next to your head?  
  
Joey: Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!  
  
NEWSFLASH: Compactible Compressionable Campbeds! Watch how they fold! Watch your best friend become trapped in it's cheap clutches! Made from the finest recycled vending cups. Available from all dog-decent retailers.  
  
Yami B: I gotta try that.  
  
Ryou: No.  
  
Yami B: Sorry, ma'am.  
  
Yami M: Haha.  
  
Ryou: Remember, I am you.  
  
Yami B: Yes, ma'am.  
  
Yami M: Haha.  
  
Ryou: Stop calling me that!  
  
Yami B: Ooh, looks like someone's beginning to doubt their already questionable masculinity.  
  
Ryou: *barely audible growl*  
  
Yami B: *turns to Yami Malik* Yknow, one day Ryou shouted at me. A nearby dog almost, ALMOST heard him.  
  
Yami: I have recovered! (wizard) Let us explore France!  
  
Joey: I am free from the campbed! (wizard) I second that motion!  
  
Yugi: I was already fine! (wiz......meh) I thirdly that motion!  
  
Malik. Yeah. Right. Thirdly.  
  
Yami B: Hate to dampen your spirits, but there is a thunderstorm brewing!  
  
Yami M: Arr, I be sensin' it too.  
  
Ryou: How can you tell?  
  
Yami B: Hello? 5000 year old being here! I'm a walking barometer.  
  
Just on cue, it starts raining. *cue rain-themed music* *close enough, Rob*  
  
Everyone: *sigh*  
  
Joey: Well, my boundless optimism dictates that we should watch TV!  
  
Everybody: Okelydokely.  
  
Joey: BUT.......What to watch?  
  
Yami B: Murder programmes!  
  
Yugi: Live Duel Coverage!  
  
Malik: The Egyptian Channel!  
  
Joey: Food-related things!  
  
Yugi: Joey, you're listening to the suggestions!  
  
Joey: Oh, right, sorry.  
  
Yami B: Gory murder films!  
  
Yami: Game shows!  
  
Malik: Time Team: Uncovering Ancient Egyptian Civilisations!  
  
Yami B: Something that involves murder!  
  
Yami M: Interactive reality TV! Crush their hopes of winning!  
  
Ryou: Infomercials!  
  
Everyone: *glare*  
  
Ryou: *glare*  
  
Everyone: Infomercials it is!  
  
/30 mins later/  
  
Yugi: Aren't you bored yet, Ryou?  
  
Ryou: Shh!  
  
Yami B: I practically know you inside out, and even I find it hard to believe you could be interested in a multi-purpose sandwich toaster.  
  
Ryou: You made me miss it!  
  
Joey: *slaver* Multi-purposeful sandwich..........bready...........  
  
Yami B: *snort* I've had it! Change chann.....Woah!  
  
Announcer: And this full sixteen piece kitchen knife set....  
  
Yami B: BID! BID! BID! BID! BID! BID! BID! BID! BID!  
  
Yami M: BID! BID! BID! BID! BID! BID! Go on, Malik!  
  
Yami B: *laughs* Hah! I can outbid you, Ryou has more money!  
  
Yami M: Is he insured?  
  
Yami B: Hey! I never thought of that! Ryou, is your life insured for a vast amount of money?  
  
Ryou: *watching TV*  
  
Yami B: Ryou?  
  
Ryou: *watching TV  
  
Yami B: *starts yelling*  
  
Yami M: Is your life insured?  
  
Malik: Dunno.  
  
Ryou: No! It's not 'attention decifit disorder.' I'm just not listening to you.  
  
Yami B: Are you insured.  
  
Ryou; No.  
  
Yami B: Y'know, for someone who's just suffered a major blow to his furure financial prospects, i feel alright.  
  
Yami M: You'll get over it.  
  
Yami: Yes! I have another line in this chapter! Look, fellow travellers, it has stopped raining!  
  
Joey: Cool! We can go out now! Everyone one their feet, we're exploring France!  
  
Pause.  
  
Yugi: Joey, getting on your feet requires getting off your butt.  
  
Joey: Oh. Right.  
  
Everybody except Mr. Wheeler leaves the room.  
  
Joey: *shakes head and pats TV* Don't worry, my technological friend. Soon we will be reunited and together we can bask in the knowledge you transmit through your many wires and microchips.....Patience, my friend, we will watch fabled chefs cook fabled dishes I've never heard of soon.......  
  
Trinity: I hear you, Joey.  
  
Yugi-is-little-bro: Thank you, Trinity, you didn't make Joey talk French!  
  
Trinity: Just for you. And the fact that no actual French people appeared in this chapter.  
  
Yugi-is-little-bro: Thank you so much! I am truly in your debt.  
  
Trinity: Ok.  
  
Yugi-is-little-bro: Joke.  
  
Trinity: Mmeh.  
  
***************************  
  
Another chapter, another pointless collaberation of tales spawned from my overworked mind. REVIEW PLEASE! Thanks. Trinity.  
  
'I have no desire for money. It's the stuff I want.' 


	6. Line dancing?

Da Da DAAAAA!!!!! Chapter..1,2,3,4,5, multiply by four, divide by the reciprocal, calculate the power, chapter 6 people! Wooohooo. I am genuinely surprised that I am sat here typing this. Normally I don't stick with things till the end and just give up in the middle. I drive my Geography teacher barmy. Well, here they are, the motley crew, ready to actually explore France. Oh my gosh! I mentally heard you say. It's, err....telepathy....the...err....mind...thing....Forget it! I made it up. You're probably here reading this because you clicked on this by accident and your mouse has packed in. Best make your stay enjoyable, hadn't I?  
  
NEW SOUND TECHNICIAN ALERT! MR. PEANUT THE CHIMPANZEE!  
  
Oh yeah. I had to backtrack in the middle of a sentence because I forgot this garbage. DISCLAIMER: I. Do. Not. Own. Yu. -Gi. -Oh. Note: Ryou is one of my favourite characters. Nobody flame me for the earlier chapter. I like poking fun at his femininity. It's funny.  
  
**************************  
  
/EXPLORING FRANCE/ *cue extreme horror music* *God bless you, Mr. Peanut*  
  
Yugi, Yami, Ryou and co . exited the hotel room. You know who they are.  
  
Yugi: Put the TV back, Joey.  
  
Joey put the TV back.  
  
Yugi: Put back the obligatory towels, Ryou.  
  
Ryou put the towels back.  
  
Yugi: Yami Bakura stop forging Picasso's signature on that painting and PUT IT BACK!  
  
Yami Bakura: *death glare*  
  
NEWSFLASH! Patented Death Glares! Scare the crap out of any pigeons crapping on your conservatory! Stare the crap out of your grandma! Stare the crap out of stray cats! Stare the crap out of crap! If looks could kill, this would be illegal! It's that good.  
  
Yugi: *shudder* Sure scared the crap out of me!  
  
Yami Bakura: Then we're in agreement. I keep the painting.  
  
Yugi: Yeesss.  
  
Malik: Okay, that was, a, little, strange.  
  
Yami Malik: So was that, but you don't hear anyone else complaining, do you, you chronic complainer.  
  
Malik: Shut up.  
  
Yami Malik: *looks awkwardly at ground* I had my moment.  
  
Yami: France, the unsuspecting country of love and large noses, lies before us! Let us fly! Wait while I refuel my turbo feet of aviation!  
  
Yami drinks Dr. Pepper.  
  
Yami: YEEEHAAAWWWW!!!!!!! *flies off with now worryingly regular 'whoosh'* Lets go explore France!  
  
Joey: Yay.  
  
The company leave the hotel.  
  
Yami Bakura: Aah, the fabled suitcase chase took here.....sweet, pointless nostalgia.....  
  
Ryou: Let's go to an authentic French restaurant! Look, this one has live entertainment!  
  
Joey: Yay.  
  
Ryou: Joey? You okay?  
  
Joey: Yay.  
  
Yami Malik: That's very pathetic.  
  
Malik: Apathetic, Yami, Apathetic.  
  
Yami Malik: Err....Yeah....That's what I meant....  
  
Joey: Yay.  
  
Yami: I can cure this! He is suffering from extreme apathy, uncaring about anything. Simple reverse psychology should heal this.  
  
Joey: Yay.  
  
Yami Bakura: I framed you for drug abuse and you're facing a life sentence.  
  
Joey: Yay.  
  
Yami Bakura: Death sentence.  
  
Joey: Yay.  
  
Yami Malik: I like you.  
  
Joey: Yay.  
  
Yami: Your sister's got a nice ass.  
  
Joey: *twitch*  
  
Yugi: Last week I borrowed your foundation and yesterday I found myself staring longingly at Tristen's crotch.  
  
Joey: RRAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHRRRRRR!!!!!!!!  
  
Nearby Unexplained Grizzly Bear: RRRRROOOOOOOAAAAARRRR!!!!!!!  
  
Joey: *fights bear à la John Wayne style*  
  
Ryou: I am going into the restaurant.  
  
/In the Restaurant/ *oohh, nice touch, Mr. Peanut*  
  
Yami Malik: L'es-car-got. What is L'es-car-got?  
  
Joey: Snails.  
  
Yami Malik: Woah-hoah. They eat snails? Why have you been living in 'Egypt' all these years?  
  
Malik: You've roughly answered your own question.  
  
Yami Bakura: Screw ordering, I'm going to the bar.  
  
Bartender: What do you want?  
  
Yami Bakura: The largest damn alcohol percentage in a drink you got!  
  
Bartender: Are you 18?  
  
Yami Bakura: Yes.  
  
Bartender: Do you have ID?  
  
Yami Bakura: Do you?  
  
Bartender: Shaken or stirred?  
  
Ryou: I really hope he doesn't take over my body when he's drunk....I hope I never see a novelty thong in my life EVER AGAIN.  
  
Yugi: *odd stare* You've got a secret life going, haven't you, Ryou?  
  
Ryou: NO!  
  
Joey: Frog's legs frog's legs, doop de doop de doo......  
  
Yugi: Joey?  
  
Joey: I like frog's legs doop de doop de doo.....  
  
Yami Malik: *tries a frog's leg*  
  
Yami Malik: I'm eating a frog's leg doop de doop de doo....  
  
Yugi: That's it! I'm not touching any of this crud!  
  
Joey & Yami Malik: *insane grins* Why not, Yugi? Join us! Join us! Doop de doop de doo....  
  
Yugi: *whimper*  
  
Yami: Hmm, it appears these frog's legs are contaminated. Or it may simply be a common side-effect...I will have to experiment with this.....I need some 'test' specimins....*catches Malik staring at him* I-In the interests of, medicine, of course.  
  
Malik: Riiight. Well, shall we order something properly, instead of raiding the buffet?  
  
Yami Bakura: Sure!  
  
Ryou: You're sober.  
  
Yami Bakura: The highest percentage was a mere 45%. I decided it wasn't worth my time.  
  
Malik: Well. Let's order.  
  
Yami Bakura: I hate ordering in these French restaurants. I mean, you know those trips they do at work, about forty of you go for a meal. French restaurants. I'm not French. So when I'm ordering, I'm like, can I have the ' Kw-i-zz-ine- de la fro- ma-je.' And those waiters go 'Cuisine de la fromage.' I'm like, I know, you're French. You know how it goes. Can I have a Moo-sse ow cho-co-late.' They go 'Mousse au chocolat.' They're right sarcy bastards.  
  
Malik: You ordering or not?  
  
Yami Bakura: Yep. Just not whatever they had.*points*  
  
Yami Malik and Joey have joined in the live line-dancing competition.  
  
Joey: Left leg in and sway right hip and jump to left and doop de doo...  
  
Yami Malik: Swing around and wave right hand and do the heel tap toe to heel...  
  
Announcer: Now, grab your partner, dosie do!  
  
Yugi: I can't watch this.  
  
Ryou: Me neither.  
  
Yami Bakura: *holding camcorder* That Millennium Rod is so mine.  
  
Joey: YEEHAWW!  
  
Yami Malik: Malik look! We've invented the Doop De Doo Waltz.  
  
Malik: I know.  
  
Joey: I'm a sheep!  
  
Yami Malik: BAAAAAA.  
  
Suddenly, officious looking men burst in wearing white coats and carrying high-tech equipment.  
  
Officious Man: Everybody out! We're closing these premises down! We've found traces of forbidden food colouring and additives! Good God! They're affected!  
  
Yami Malik and Joey are doing the Macarena.  
  
Officious Man 2: Everyone OUT!  
  
Yugi: Let's go!  
  
Ryou: Run!  
  
Malik: I'm traumatized!  
  
Yami Bakura: This tape is gold!  
  
Yami: Bwahahaha...  
  
Yami Malik: One-maca two-maca three-macarena..  
  
Joey: Baaaa!  
  
RuneAyame: Panic, drugs, chaos...My work here is done.  
  
********************  
  
So. Chapter 6.  
  
REVIEWWWWWW!!!!!! The extra W's are for emphasis.  
  
Chapter 7 will be soon. But I'm going on holiday to Greece for a fortnight, so it may not be so soon. And I have neglected all my summer holiday homework. Best not think of that. I break out into a nervous sweat whenever I do......Anynoe got a good remedy for Homework Overdose?  
  
Thank you.  
  
RuneAyame.  
  
'Where's the inflated sense of self-esteem?' 


	7. Psychiatric Wards and Tag

Look everyone! It's..me! I'm back! I havent updated this for like, a LONG TIME. (Blame Immortal-Angel. She gave me the inspiration to continue this crud.) So, I hope you're crapping your pants with anticipation because Bonjour, Yami, is back online. Oh for sure.  
  
Disclaimer: I have tried several times during the past few months to gain control of Yu-Gi-Oh. Guess what? I failed. So therefore, I do not own Yu-Gi- Oh. Heh heh, Ooglyboogly.  
  
************************************** /Psychiatric Ward - Paris/ *cue crazy music* *Go, Mr.Peanut, go*  
  
Yugi, Yami, Yami Bakura, Ryou and Malik were waiting in the, err, waiting room, of the psychiatric ward. Well, Yami Bakura wandered off into the 'Patients Only' areas, but since he had drank copious amounts of alcohol, he blended in quite well.  
  
Ryou: *beams* I really think Bakura has found his place on earth.  
  
Yugi: When will Joey and Yami Malik be cured? I'm sick of doctors trying to offer me counselling for my abnormal size!'  
  
Yami: *snickers*  
  
Yugi: Wha? What?  
  
Yami: Nothing.  
  
Ryou: I think I'll go and enquire about the wellbeing of our friends. I saw a reception desk earlier and.........  
  
Malik: Ryou, only talk if you can improve the silence.  
  
Yami B: Heh heh.  
  
Yugi: What are you doing here? I thought you were debating the commercialisation of Christmas with patient 249?  
  
Yami B: After much deliberation we came to the conclusion that commercialisation can be both a benifitial blessing or a damned curse.  
  
Everyone:.........................  
  
Yami B: What the fuck is taking them so long? I wanna go play!  
  
Everyone: *sigh of relief*  
  
Yugi: For a minute I seriously thought of admitting him as a long-stay patient.  
  
Ryou: They have been gone a long time. I think we should at least go and find out where.....  
  
Malik: Ryou, if you have something to stay, raise your hand, and put it over your mouth.  
  
Ryou: Fine, Mr. Crabby Pants! I'll find them myself! *stomps off*  
  
Malik: Ooh, temper tantrum!  
  
Ryou: Bog off!  
  
Malik: OMG I'm SO offended, you have, like, the most inventive insults EVER.  
  
Yugi: *sigh* I'll go after him. They might admit him, too.*follows Ryou*  
  
Yami B: Oh, shit damn fuck arse.  
  
Malik: You got a shit damn fuck arse situation over there?  
  
Yami B: No. I just, wanna know what it feels like to have Tourettes.  
  
Yami: Ah! Ryou. What news of our fellow companions?  
  
Ryou:..........................  
  
Yami: I take it for granted that the news is not good.  
  
Ryou: The nurse said they've already checked themselves out!  
  
Malik: What?  
  
Ryou: They said something about 'trashing Disneyland.'  
  
Yami: Egads! We must recover them! Where is Yugi?  
  
Ryou: He's strutting about in a room full of jockeys. He's never been amongst people shorter than himself before.  
  
Yami B: *thinks* Yes, Yugi is a bit of a shrimp, isn't he? Hah! Now I can expand my repertoire of insults!  
  
Ryou:........He's over here.  
  
*everyone goes to room*  
  
Yugi: I feel five feet tall.  
  
Malik: Yugi! C'mon, we gotta go find Yami M and Joey!  
  
Yugi: Aww.....Well, goodbye you short-arsed vertically challenged midgets!  
  
Jockeys: *burst into tears*  
  
Yami B: C'mon you short-arsed vertically challenged midget!  
  
Yugi: *bursts into tears*  
  
Yami: We must hurry! They may have rearranged Mickey Mouse's facial features by now!  
  
Yugi: Y'know, Yami, Mickey Mouse isn't real.  
  
Yami: Wha, what? Well, well, neither is Santa!  
  
Yami B: WHAT?  
  
Ryou: Oh, c'mon.  
  
Everyone bombs it outside to the sound of heroic music, gritting their teeth and throwing themselves into the sunlight.  
  
Joey: *sitting on grass* Hey, guys!  
  
Yami M: Over here!  
  
Malik: *spluttering* You-you-you were supposed to be trashing Disneyland!  
  
Joey: We were gonna, but we saw a sign saying Disneyland Left, so we came back.  
  
Yami M: And we're fine. The doctor just said I was a little Dain Bramaged.  
  
Joey: I've been electronically tagged. They said I was a menace to society.  
  
Yami M: We've really bonded on this, you know?  
  
Yugi: Yami B! Get him back!  
  
Yami B: On it! Yami M, Yami M, listen! Ooglyboogly.  
  
Yami M: Heh heh. Fiddlefaddle.  
  
Yami B: Driggernooger.  
  
Yami M: Spazzer McWazzer  
  
Yami B: Fart.  
  
Both: *burst into hysterical laughter*  
  
Yugi: *wipes brow* Phew. We got him back.  
  
Ryou: *softly* Look..........  
  
Malik: *quietly* What?  
  
Ryou: An unopened packet of Maltesers..........  
  
Everyone: *stares at packet*  
  
Joey: MINE!  
  
Yami B: Get lost, dog!  
  
Yami: Me, me, me!  
  
Ryou: GET OFF 'EM!  
  
Yugi: RRAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Malik: Pitiful.  
  
Yami Malik: *dives past* DOG PILE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Joey: Yes! I got them, I, Aaahh!  
  
A large seagull swooped by and snatched the packet away. The gang were left looking bashfully at their feet.  
  
Yugi: To think, we almost lost our friendship over that.  
  
Yami M: I'm sorry I dived on you all.  
  
Ryou: That's okay. I'm sorry I tried to scratch your eyes out.  
  
Yami B: *ruffles Ryou's hair* You little bugger.  
  
Yami: Group hug!  
  
Joey: Aww...Come here guys!  
  
Everybody hugged. 'Cept for Malik, who was much to mature.  
  
Malik:........................Oh, I give up! Come 'ere, you lot.  
  
Everybody hugs for several more seconds.  
  
Yugi:.........Wanna play tag?  
  
Joey: Sure! Yami's it!  
  
Yami: What? NO!  
  
Everyone ran off.  
  
Yami: Oh, I'm so alone. *flies off*  
  
Joey: *titters* Hee hee, he won't catch me.  
  
Yami: Tag! You're it!  
  
Joey: Bullshit!  
  
Yami M: Oh no! Joey's it!  
  
Joey: You're it, slow coach.  
  
Yami M: Aaagh!  
  
Ryou: No! No no!  
  
Yami M: Ryou's it!  
  
Ryou: Yami B's it!  
  
Yami B: Kaiba's it!  
  
Kaiba: No! I don't, I don't wanna be it!  
  
*Hello, and welcome to the news at two. A game of Tag broke out in the suburbs of Paris earlier today. It was a frantic scrabble, but now Seto Kaiba appears to be it.Everyone is warned to stay away from him. I've been RuneAyame, you've been the audience. Thank you for reading.*  
  
Woo, chapter seven done in one shot! Please review, and I'll be back soon! ^_^  
  
RuneAyame  
  
'I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it! 


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